Wife turns to husband and says, “I’ve just done a silent fart, what should I do?”
Husband says, “put new batteries in your hearing aid!”
After a church service on Sunday morning, my 5 year old daughter suddenly announced to her mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up.” – “That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?”
“Well,” said my daughter, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.”