Growing older shifts our focus from grand ambitions to the everyday joys that surround us. We begin to appreciate the beauty in routine and the comfort of familiar rituals. It’s in these small, simple moments that we find true comfort and contentment. In the end, it’s not the grand achievements that define our happiness, but the simple, tender moments that shape our lives and of course the distractions that make us smile. Hope you read and smile.
Since I’m a Senior, I don’t mind saying or hearing “old folk” jokes and stories. Continue reading.
I Remember
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?”
“Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association. It was great.”
“Wow! What was the name of the clinic?”
Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?”
“You mean a rose?”
“Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife, “Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?”
Save Me Some Time
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?”
“98,” she replied. “Two years older than me.”
“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.
She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”
Hiding Easter Eggs
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs!
A Pretty Penny
An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.
“I have always heard that you can’t take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory,” he said. “I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within.”
The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave.
On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, “I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000.”
The doctor then said, “I must confess too. I needed $20,000 for a new hospital I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000.”
The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head. He then said, “Gentlemen, I’m surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don’t see how you could dare to go against that man’s final wish. I mean, I threw in my personal check for the full amount…”
Last One Standing
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands.
Not satisfied he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for another 15 minutes and repeated his question. With all thoughts now on Sunday dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the rear.
“Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any.”
“Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?”
“Ninety three.”
“Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person
can live to be ninety-three, and not have an enemy in the world.”
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly turned
around and said: “It’s easy, I just outlived them all.”
Don’t Forget!
Remember: You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.