Sometimes when you visualize a funny story, it becomes an unforgettable memory. Keep reading.
“Late again, Johnny,” said Miss Crabtree, arms crossed as little Johnny slipped into class nearly an hour past the bell.
“It ain’t my fault, Miss Crabtree,” Johnny said, eyes wide with innocence. “Blame my Daddy. It’s ‘cause he sleeps in the nude!”
Now Miss Crabtree had been teaching third grade for over thirty years. She’d heard every excuse in the book … but this one gave her pause.
With a wary sigh, she asked, “Johnny … what does your father sleeping naked have to do with you being late?”
Johnny grinned, clearly enjoying every second of his story.
“Well, Miss Crabtree, we got ourselves a real sneaky coyote out at the ranch. The past few nights he got six of our hens and even killed Mama’s best milk goat!”
“So last night, Daddy heard something in the chicken coop. He jumped up, grabbed his shotgun, and hollered, “That dang coyote’s back … I’m gonna get him!”
“He told me to stay inside. And off he went, naked as a jaybird! No boots, no pants, no nothing!”
Johnny pantomimed crawling on the ground.
“He creeped out to the coop real quiet-like, crawling through the dirt like some kind of cowboy ninja. Then he poked his double-barrel through the henhouse window, just waiting …”
Miss Crabtree raised a brow. “Go on.”
“Well,” Johnny continued, “our old black Lab, Bob, woke up and went looking for Daddy … and just as Daddy was staring into the dark, thinking he had that coyote cornered …”
Johnny paused dramatically, “Bob snuck up behind Daddy … and stuck his cold nose right in Daddy’s crack!”
Johnny’s class erupted in laughter.
Johnny added proudly, “We’ve been plucking chickens since three this morning because Daddy fired both barrels straight into the chicken coop!”