When I was a kid

When I was a kid, adults use to bore me to tears with their tales about how hard things were.
When they were growing up; what with walking ten miles to school every morning … Uphill …
Barefoot … Both ways… yadda, yadda, yadda! 

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it! 

But now that I’m the ripe old age over forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a dam “Utopia!”
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it! 

I mean when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the Library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog! 

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen! Then you had to walk way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take a week to get there. Stamps were 10 cents! 

Child Protective Services didn’t care if our Parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of my friends also had permission to kick our butts too! Nowhere was safe! 

There was no MP3’s or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! 

You had to use a little book called the TV Guide to find out what was on TV. You had to get off your behind to change channels. NO REMOTES!!! Oh no, what’s this world coming to. 

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get Cartoons on Saturday mornings. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for Cartoons, you spoiled kids. 

And we didn’t have Microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that! 

And our Parents told us to stay outside and play … all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside … you were doing chores! 

And car seats – oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling “shot gun” in the first place. 

See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn’t last five minutes back in the 1970’s or any time before! 

Regards…